One of my favorite parts of the book Conversations with GOD is when they are talking about relationships and God says that he is not advocating for short or long term relationships. He is only asking us to remember the purpose of our lives being to become the best version of ourselves and to think about what a better way than a long term relationship to help us in our journey.
Having a person in our lives that is constantly reflecting the good that we are and the areas where we need to pay attention in order to learn more about ourselves and to grow into the best version of ourselves.
It has now been five years since the end of marriage and for over one year now, I have been feeling ready for a new relationship. Feeling ready doesn't mean (at least not for me) that I haven't felt fear or worry or confused (or still do).
I guess that when I say ready, what I really mean is excited about this moment, about my life, what I am creating, the lessons I've learned, the woman I am today, and the knowing in my heart that I feel ready to grow and expand into a much better version of me as a woman, a mother, a lover and a partner.
In the past years I've learned that to be able to open up my heart and fall in love with someone else, I needed to fall in love with myself. And I've also learned that falling in love is easy, but to really love myself and somebody else takes work. It takes work because it is not about holding a circumstance or a person responsible for my JOY. It is about me doing my best to live with JOY in every moment
With this knowledge I jumped into the unknown world of online dating a couple of months ago. And I've learned something about myself. I can fall in love very easily. :-)
So I've been thinking lately about all this; about LOVE and about FALLING IN LOVE. As I feel like I am falling in love, I am asking myself the question:
Am I ready for LOVE?
Am I ready to let the love for myself and my desires be stronger than the fear of being vulnerable and getting hurt again?
And the answer is a BIG FAT YES!
So now I sitting here, feeling the butterflies in my belly and noticing the smile on my face, asking myself the same question I've asked myself many times.
What do you want Adriana?
What is the essence of this relationship?
How do you want to feel?
With love & gratitude